


Fallen Angel

by XZeroQueen



Category: Rockman X | Mega Man X, Rockman Zero | Mega Man Zero
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dark, Insanity, M/M, Religious Imagery & Symbolism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-02 12:35:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19198939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XZeroQueen/pseuds/XZeroQueen
Summary: “How you have fallen from heaven, O star of the morning, son of the dawn!” -Isaiah 14:12AU in which X does, indeed, become the dictator of Neo Arcadia, and a newly resurrected Zero is forced to face him.Lucas Gilbertson himself did a dramatic reading of the first half of this- I highly recommend listening to his wonderful contribution! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_pdw42XE8s I am beyond honored that he did this!!





	Fallen Angel

**Author's Note:**

> In true me fashion, the second thing I write for this fandom is just... a mess. LOL. I hope you enjoy it even if it is sad.
> 
> I'm not 100% satisfied with the part near the end (I don't think I got the emotions and characterization completely right), but I couldn't think of any other way to go about it, and I wasn't about to scrap a 14,000 word fic. So I'm just going to hope I got it right after all and I'm just being too hard on myself. I hope you all like this! Comments are welcome.

The first moments of consciousness were disorienting, to say the least.

It was almost- _almost_ \- like waking from a long sleep, yet without the sensation of ever having slept. The- what was he called? He tried to remember, but the word wouldn’t come to him- didn’t feel rested, nor did he feel rest _less_ as he would after a bad night of sleep. Instead, he felt thoroughly disoriented, as though his memory banks were suffering a dangerous fault. Yet his diagnostic, which he activated subconsciously, gave his hardware a greenlight.

Hardware. That was it… he was a _Reploid_.

Looking down at himself to confirm it, he rotated his hands in front of himself, staring at them. They didn’t look like his own, but he had no idea what his own should look like; no idea what anything was supposed to be like.

“Zero? Help me. Please.”

He startled at the voice, at the realization that there was another being in his vicinity. He tilted his head, managing to process- after what he felt was a far longer period of time than optimal- that this was a human in front of him. An adolescent female, he determined, with blonde hair and blue eyes. Average height and weight, with no notable physical defects.

“Zero…?” In doing it, he discovered speech was possible. Again, it felt strange; the act shouldn’t require such effort to attempt, yet he found himself wading through his mind trying to remember the rote actions associated with speech. Perhaps that was the problem? Perhaps he was trying too hard to determine his capabilities. “Zero,” he said again, easier this time, like a toddler’s attempts at taking their first steps. “Is that my name? Zero?”

Somehow, that knowledge that he had to _have_ a name was innate. But his only inkling of what it was came from this stranger before him.

“Yes,” said the female softly. She looked at him with affection and worry, making an abortive gesture to grab his shoulder before thinking better of it. “Your name is Zero. And I’m Ciel. I’m very sorry; I had to skip some steps in your startup routine that would have allowed your activation to be more… natural. You must be so overwhelmed…”

Zero nodded, looking around the room slowly. It was overwhelming beyond words, and he barely knew what do with it all.

“I’m sorry,” Ciel said again. “But… we don’t have time for you to wake up properly. Please, help me.”

Zero looked around the room, taking in the half-dozen or so Reploids occupying it. Several of them appeared to be threats, and one appeared to be actively hostile, pinchers opening and closing in warning.

He looked from his arms to the enemy, a frown on his face. A weapon. He needed a weapon to stop it.

No sooner had he thought the words than he noticed, out of the corner of his eye, a (mostly) cylindrical object on the ground. He looked to Ciel, who answered his silent question, “it’s your Z-saber… it was with your… body.”

He frowned, and picked up the object, stroking the cold metal. It was a strange mixture of familiar and foreign; his hand found it familiar, like it belonged there, while his mind puzzled over it. And even more puzzling was the end of Ciel’s sentence.

“I’ll explain later, but the gist of it is… you were a hero, a Maverick Hunter, until you died in battle. Circumstances required that I bring you back. That’s why some things are familiar to you; your old control chip is trying to come back online in the new body I made you. It should be fully functional within a week, barring any data corruption…”

“I… was a soldier?” he asked, flicking the saber to activate the plasma blade. “And I died?” He frowned deeply. None of it made sense.

“Yes. I promise I’ll tell you the whole story later, but please, we’re running out of time. We have to leave,” she whispered. “Please, Zero.”

Nodding, Zero took a step forward, twirling the sword in his hand. The control chip within him, if nothing else, remembered the motions to make, and he found himself dashing forward, slashing his saber with surprising speed, before jumping off the wall and executing a graceful backflip. “Wow,” he breathed as he landed, feeling something close to giddiness. Then he ran towards the threatening Reploids, destroying one, then another.

Awed as he finished the task, he breathed, “Wow. That was… Exhilarating. I… maybe I am the hero you mentioned…”

“Of course you are.” Ciel beamed at him, and Zero gave a small smile back, encouraged.

“Alright. Let’s get you out of here,” he said, stepping in front of Ciel. He headed outside the room, listening for Ciel’s instructions on which way to turn.

Enemies appeared before him, blue and with red lights where their faces should be, and he slashed swiftly with his saber, easily dispatching them. It felt natural, effortless, and he relished it; of all the things that felt so foreign to him, this was the only one that felt right.

In short order they were at the building’s entryway, and Ciel was looking at him in amazement. “No wonder you’re such a legend,” she whispered. “If this is how strong you were when you fought with X a century ago…”

Zero blinked. “X?” It tickled his brain, teasing him; he knew it, or at least knew that he _should_ know it, and yet it was so distant, just out of reach of his memory. “X,” he said again. “That name, it sounds familiar….”

“X was a hero; he fought with you until you died. But that legendary Reploid is no hero anymore… He’s trying to retire all of us.” Ciel’s face was stormy.

Blinking slowly, Zero said, “X is trying to... retire you…?” He frowned. “That doesn’t sound right… how… why?” He looked down at his hands, at his saber. “If he was a hero like you said…” He thought it over, shaking his head. “I have this… I don’t think it’s a memory, exactly, but I have this feeling… he was kind, wasn’t he? He hated fighting more than anything. All he wanted was to do _anything_ else, anything but fight.” Then he paused again. “Maybe this is a memory after all. But I know it’s true. He wouldn’t really do that, would he, Ciel?”

Ciel looked away, torn. “That’s what I thought not too long ago. But this goes deeper than any of us know. He’s been doing this for years, in silence… it’s only recently that enough have been killed for us to see it for what it is. Only those in Neo Arcadia are blind to it, and yet, even they are starting to get suspicious due to the drop in Reploid numbers. Not even the Elf Wars claimed so many, so indiscriminately, and without any warning signs. Mavericks always left carnage before, but now a Reploid just vanishes and we’re _told_ they went Maverick and were sentenced to death as is the law-”

“Maverick,” Zero said, voice faint as the word took root in his head, suddenly overtaxing his mental processors. “Maverick!” A thousand neural pathways activated all at once, memories coming back online and stunning him, knocking him back. As a wave of agony overtook him, Zero fell- to his knees, groaning and clutching his head. “He- X- oh, hell-“

“Zero! Hold on-“ Ciel urged, running to his side, but there was nothing she could do to ease the pain inside Zero, not without the equipment she had only back at the Resistance Base. The pulsating, throbbing ache got worse with every passing second, and a warning flashed in his vision.

“C-Ciel?” he managed to ask, terrified, before losing consciousness entirely.

—

A day later, after Zero had been awake for several hours, he found that the headache from so many memories returning at once faded. But in its place, the crushing sorrow in his heart acutely sharpened. It ached like a bruise, ached like a vice grip on his chest that wouldn’t let itself be forgotten for even a moment.

X. X, the kind and compassionate person he’d shared everything with, had become a fallen angel to rival Lucifer himself.

Every time he revisited a newly discovered memory, it made his heart ache worse. The memory would make his heart swell with fondness, only for Zero’s knowledge of the present to thoroughly taint it. 

Even worse was the knowledge that the only way to end this nightmarish regime of X’s was to kill him. He should be seeking X out to joyfully share the miracle of his resurrection, but instead… this.

Zero was miserable as he wandered the unfamiliar ground of the Resistance Base. Reploids kept trying to get his attention and talk, but he would have none of it, too lost in the weight of his present situation; lost in the grief of who he’d lost and what he’d have to do.

The pain only got worse the more he thought about it. And the anxiety of his new comrades, too, only seemed to be getting worse. They were restless and scared of what X would do if given the chance.

These people would only be happy again when Zero took X out. And Zero himself… he couldn’t say that he would be _satisfied_ doing such a thing, but letting X continue a genocide against Reploids wasn’t an option, either.

There was no hope trying to delay the inevitable, for that would only weaken his resolve. He had to act sooner than later.

But before he could even begin to formulate a plan, before he could even ask Ciel where X resided now, a klaxon sounded throughout the Resistance Base, and Ciel cried, “Zero! We’re under attack! The Guardians-“

“I’ll take care of it!” Zero called, immediately rushing to the outside perimeter,. He was met with four Reploids, all nearly identical in appearance save for their armors. One was green, one black, one blue, and one red.

“We are the Guardians of Master X,” the green one, presumably the leader, said. “My name is Harpuia. If you have chosen to side with the Mavericks, then we shall show you no mercy, Zero.”

“I’m Fefnir,” said another. “Your retirement will be permanent this time!”

“I’m Leviathan,” another added. “Mavericks like you have no place in our world!”

“And I’m Phantom,” the last one said. “We will show you why a lost legend should remain lost!”

The four moved in unison towards Zero, and their fight commenced. Zero found that all he could do was dodge their attacks and, very rarely, make a small cut on one or another. The damage they were inflicting on him, however, was far greater, and he knew what the outcome would be unless something changed soon.

When it was impossible to get a physical advantage, the only option was to make one somewhere else.

“Four on one hardly seems like an honorable fight,” Zero told the Guardians, panting heavily. “At least I always had the decency to give the Mavericks I retired a fair fight.”

“The time for fairness is past,” Harpuia said, slicing at Zero with his twin blades, and only barely giving Zero enough time to dodge. “The fate of the world is at stake.”

“When you lose your sense of honor, your morals are not far behind,” Zero said, and looked to Phantom. He didn’t know much about the four besides their names and occupation, and yet Phantom’s dark armor and choice of weapon told him that Phantom would have been in a unit much like Zero’s own. Those in Zero’s Shinobi Unit had always valued their honor above all else. “Wouldn’t you agree, Phantom?”

Phantom hesitated, Zero could see as much in his eyes, but then he steeled himself. “A shadow… a shadow doesn’t concern itself with such things. My job is to serve the light, X-sama himself, wherever that light needs me to go.”

“You don’t mean that, do you?” Zero said, deflecting a rogue kunai with his saber. “You know what you’re doing is wrong. All of you do.” He implored the other three with his eyes.

“You’re the one in the wrong!” Fefnir roared, firing his buster at Zero, who grunted with the impact he was unable to escape. “How could you align yourself with _them_? After all you and X went through together?” He made to charge at Zero, but was physically blocked by Harpuia, who seethed at Zero.

“You have your ‘fair fight’, Maverick. I will be the one to retire you… all by myself!” Harpuia said, blade pointed at Zero. “You three, fall back!”

The others obeyed with varying levels of reluctance, but Zero had created the advantage he needed. With only one opponent, it wasn’t long before Zero’s superior combat skills prevailed. After Zero made a gash in Harpuia’s chest, the Guardian fell to the ground, panting. “Incredible,” he gasped out. “I underestimated you, but I will have my revenge someday... Stay healthy until our next meeting, when I shall retire you!” And with that, he dashed off into the desert to meet the ship that had brought them here.

As Harpuia left, Fefnir stepped forward again. “Amazing!” he praised. “I never expected you to be that good, and that’s what excites me the most! Finally, a challenge. Maybe you had the right idea after all!” Grinning, Fefnir shot a flame at Zero, who dodged skillfully.

Grunting, Zero struck Fefnir with his saber, then hurried out of the way before Fefnir could attack again. “Pathetic. All of you,” he said. “And I don’t just mean your combat skills.”

“You’re one to talk, Maverick!” Fefnir responded, charging at Zero again. Zero plunged his saber into Fefnir’s buster, earning a howl of pain. With his opponent already lacking both speed and defensive skill, the pain of this new injury and halving of his attack power were enough to put him in zugzwang.

Fefnir fired from his remaining buster, slower, and with a much less impressive plume. Zero stepped outside its path and slowly- almost tauntingly- sliced into the other buster, looking Fefnir in the eye as he did so. “You’ve lost,” he said simply.

“I’ll get you next time, Zero! Don’t lose to anyone else before then!” Fefnir ordered, running in the direction Harpuia had.

Then Leviathan leapt into Zero’s path, grinning. “Wait until I tell them I was the one to defeat you, Zero! Now don’t hold back just because I’m a woman!”

“This isn’t a game, you know,” Zero grumbled, dashing forward and slicing at Leviathan’s midsection. Anticipating this, Leviathan blocked his saber with her own harpoon, laughing softly.

“Come on, now, Zero! I just said to give it your all!” she scolded, pushing hard on her weapon to dislodge Zero, who kept applying pressure with his own saber, with the same goal in mind. “A pity victory doesn’t count, you know!” Letting out a “hmph,” she pushed harder against Zero’s blade, who responded by doubling down on his own efforts. If he could make Leviathan drop her harpoon, he would not only stand to win this fight, but he would gain a tactical advantage against Phantom later by saving energy.

After some time with neither giving up any ground, the pair were forced to admit their stalemate. In silent acknowledgement, Leviathan withdrew her blade, taking a step back as Zero did the same. Ten seconds passed as they gazed at each other, trying to predict the other’s next move and plan a strategy for countering it.

It was Leviathan who moved first, which Zero actually preferred. She air-dashed towards him, high enough that his saber wouldn’t be able to reach her. Zero waited for her to get within two feet of him before sliding under her, throwing his saber like a spear, and was rewarded when the blade penetrated Leviathan’s armor. At first only a small crack appeared, but the instant Leviathan fell back to the ground, it became deeper and wider. While Leviathan still had plenty of energy left in her nuclear core, it was clear she wouldn’t be able to continue the fight, or risk the crack widening and making her injury fatal.

“How rude!” she cried, indignant. “Is this your twisted version of mercy? I told you not to hold back. I’ll retire you myself one day, Zero!”

And then Leviathan, too, was gone.

Zero held his saber up, waiting to be assaulted by Phantom, but found… nothing. He blinked, looking around, but no one was there.

Until-

“Are you ready to return to the underworld, Zero?” It was Phantom’s voice, but Zero couldn’t spot its owner anywhere. Giving no time for Zero to answer, Phantom threw a shuriken-like weapon, which sliced Zero’s chest.

Grunting, Zero pulled it out, and winced at the sharp pain that flared from the wound. “Damn it,” he growled, charging forward, all the while mentally tracking the trajectory the projectile had taken to land in such a way. But then his instincts told him that was just what Phantom wanted, and he came to a halt. Looking around, saber held cautiously in front of him, he spotted Phantom, clinging to the base’s outer wall near the roof. Zero furiously- but no less carefully- hurled the kunai back. “Thanks for the gift, you dirty coward!” he called, watching the metal embed itself in Phantom’s arm despite his attempts to dodge.

“I’m no coward,” Phantom snapped back, glaring down at Zero. “I’m simply using my surroundings to my advantage. I won’t be lectured about cowardice from a Maverick!”

Zero snarled wordlessly and tried to think of a strategy to bring Phantom down. Coming up with an idea, he dashed towards the building, leaping onto the wall and using that as a base to kick off of and climb higher. About halfway into Zero’s ascent, Phantom realized what Zero was doing, and threw a kunai to slow Zero down, before trying to retreat to a less accessible part of the roof.

But Zero had anticipated him doing just that, and as soon as Phantom was at his most vulnerable, he dropped down and retrieved the discarded kunai. Phantom was fast, but Zero compensated by altering the force and aim of his throw just so, ensuring a hit. It didn’t do any significant damage, as before, but he stunned Phantom just long enough that finally, Zero was able to scale the wall and strike Phantom with his saber.

Phantom tried to parry, but Zero had already gained his edge, and once Zero had one, he never gave it up. In minutes, he was looking down at Phantom, who had no choice but to concede defeat as his siblings had done.

But there was one critical difference between Phantom and his siblings that Zero didn’t know about. For Harpuia, Leviathan, and Fefnir, death was a possible consequence of their fight for justice; one they knew and accepted. But for Phantom, it was far more than that. Everyone dies eventually, after all, and Phantom had long ago vowed to make his death _count_. And so, to Phantom, death was also a weapon.

Had Zero known, he would have been alarmed at Phantom’s earlier absence, would have put the pieces together- but he _didn’t_ know, and therefore it caught him completely off guard when Phantom smiled.

“You are a great fighter, but that alone won’t bring you victory. The bombs I set all over the factory will explode any minute now. And when they do, your legend will end, not with a whimper, but with a bang!”

Panicking, Zero rushed back into the base, thankful that Ciel was lurking near the entrance, anxiously awaiting the outcome of Zero’s fight. “Ciel!” he cried with no preamble. “You all have to evacuate immediately!”

Ciel was smart enough not to ask questions, and she ran off to retrieve their companions as Zero raced through the building, seeking the bombs Phantom had planted. Knowing, if not Phantom himself, at least the mindset of an Intelligence Officer, he would have put them at the base’s center, near as much vital infrastructure as he could- but the short timeframe he had been unaccounted for meant that he couldn’t have hidden them too well, either. In all likelihood he had planted them in one or two locations, hoping the sheer number of them would prevent Zero from disarming them. And indeed, as the explosives came into Zero’s line of vision- he counted approximately ten- he realized that there _was_ no chance to disarm them. Heart sinking, he resigned himself to merely evacuating their members, writing off the base entirely. Buildings could be replaced; people couldn’t.

Returning to Ciel, found several stragglers in a line forming behind her. To speed the process, he lifted them, two at a time, and carried them to safety outside, returning as many times as necessary before they were all outside.

Almost the instant they all had made it a kilometer from the base, an ominous rumbling started under their feet. Zero barely had time to throw Ciel to the ground, shielding her fragile, human body with his own. Then the bombs exploded, and took their base with them.

Seconds later, though it felt like hours, his eyes opened, and he pulled himself off of Ciel. She was injured, but not severely; she had been protected by the strength of Zero’s body, the adequate distance from the explosion, and the fact that the building, made of concrete, absorbed most of the bombs’ energy and made little shrapnel, collapsing in itself more than exploding outward.

It occurred to Zero that Phantom, rather than intending to annihilate the Resistance outright, had used the bombs to scare them. After all, he was a Guardian for X; he would never place a human, and especially a _child_ , in harm’s way, no matter what Maverick threat there was. It was the training Zero had received as a Hunter, so long ago, and X, even as far gone as he was, would never discard those guidelines for his Guardians.

The attack wasn’t intended to kill anyone; just Zero’s will.

In some way, the plan had worked, as Zero _was_ scared. He was scared for Ciel, scared for the unjustly persecuted Reploids under their care, he was scared for society as a whole, and he was scared of his chances- which now seemed slim- of succeeding in defeating X.

If Phantom knew that, he would have wasted no time in declaring victory, and would have expected the next words out of Zero’s mouth to be a surrender.

But Phantom, trained the way he had been, was _fearless_ , and that meant that to him, fear was a mere concept; having never experienced it, he didn’t know how to weaponize it effectively, and especially not against Zero himself.

The fear Phantom had struck into Zero’s heart wasn’t enough to deter Zero, for he was no stranger to it. Fear was, and always had been, a constant companion in his life, one he didn’t want and hadn’t chosen, but which insisted on inserting itself into every day he lived and every journey he took. After so long traveling with such an intimate partner, Zero had learned to ignore it, the way one ignores any unpleasant truth until they find that it can’t be pushed aside anymore. Like anyone else, Zero would deal with it when, and only when, it was necessary, and then he would return to ignoring it as soon as he could. Zero lived _with_ fear, rather than running from it; he knew how not to be subjugated by it.

It was something Phantom did not, _could not_ understand, not without fighting in the wars Zero had, and that told Zero that he had been acting on his own, rather than in cooperation with X. X knew fear better than anyone, even Zero himself, and would have known that rather than surrendering, such an action would only increase Zero’s drive to bring the perpetrators to justice.

Zero looked around, from the destroyed Base that he had known for only a few hours, but the others had called home. He looked to the faces of his new comrades, some terrified- Alouette- some confused- Andrew- and some pained- Colbor.

And he looked to Ciel, who was defeated. Shoulders hunched, no trace of hope on her face, body so damn _small_ that Zero was torn between wanting to comfort her and wanting to avenge her immediately.

Logic told him that while one of those desires could wait, the other couldn’t. He had to help the others find a safe place, and then he could continue his mission. The comfort would come later, when the dust settled.

Phantom may have earned X and the other Guardians a reprieve, but Zero’s wrath would be all the stronger when he finally could pursue them.

—

Two days later, Zero was alone, walking through an inhospitable desert as the sun set. It would be a long trek into the city on foot, and a slow one due to the cover he’d have to maintain.

The day’s heat was starting to dissipate, easing Zero’s discomfort, and letting him focus on the task ahead. Once he infiltrated the city, he would be safer than here, though still not completely. It was life-or-death, not a child’s game of tag, where declaring “home base” meant a ceasefire. As far as he could tell, the military services the Guardians led were reluctant to fight within city limits due to the risk of collateral damage- a policy that, Zero was sure, had been X’s doing- but they would do it if there was no other option. Zero knew he would have been designated “kill on sight” due to the power he’d shown in his fight against the Guardians and the assumption that if he was seen within city limits, it was because he was going to annihilate the humans.

Not that his true objective would make them any kinder.

He knew there was no other way to end X’s regime than to end X himself, and he knew no one could do such a thing than himself. But he couldn’t stop wishing for the impossible.

The more memories Zero had regained over the past few days, the more emotions he’d begun to feel, some old, and some new. Every bit of new information he gained about X clashed violently with the memories of the brother-in-arms who had meant so much to Zero before this.

He remembered calling X the sun, and saying that every star in the universe had X to thank. Stars, humanity, the world itself all existed thanks to X’s bravery and idealism. And Zero had been _honored_ to fight with him. Honored and determined to give X the peace he so longed for, like an elusive gift he could wrap in the most beautiful bow and hand-deliver.

Now, there was only one thing he could give to X.

And yet…

Emotions had never come easily for Zero, and even people with more emotional maturity than he would tell him of the complexity of love and hate. They weren’t mutually exclusive, as much as Zero fervently wished they were.

A person’s perceptions of others never could freeze like a photograph; he couldn’t take a snapshot of X at this moment in time and ignore everything else he knew about him. Time couldn’t be ignored the way fear could; it wouldn’t let itself go quiet long enough, wouldn’t let others forget about it.

When Zero thought of X, he just _couldn’t_ see him only as who he was at that very moment; he saw _X_ , all of him. The one he’d fought beside, the one who had wept for his fallen foes, the one who had protected children, the one who had used all his strength acting as the living conscience for the Reploid race, and had suffered endlessly for it.

Zero couldn’t stop loving the old X any more than he could stop hating the new.

But the new was the only thing that existed now; the old was lost to the inescapable black hole that was time.

Zero wanted to know the whys and hows, but even as he asked himself the painful questions, he knew that the answers, no matter what they were, would change nothing. They would probably make it worse, even; raise more questions or make his task harder, and no answer could change his course of action, not when it had gone this far. There was no justice left for X except for the Z-saber in the role of guillotine blade.

In the entirety of the Maverick Wars, Zero had never hesitated to kill an enemy. He had always acted first and left the questions and grieving for later. But X was different, always had been different.

Even though X was still out there somewhere, probably preparing for this fight to the death in a similar way to Zero, Zero began to mourn him. He mourned for the true X, the smiling and gentle soul he’d known, and he mourned for this imposter who had taken it all away like an evil Changeling.

His mind kept flitting back to the past, to the promises he and X had made each other. In truth, part of Zero had suspected, even back then, that this day would come- but not like this, never like this. He’d expected a virus, some kind of corruption, and had expected a single act, not years of calm, calculated genocide. He’d expected evil to infect X against his will, not for X to welcome it.

And yet, a voice in the back of his head niggled, how could he know that was the case? How could he know there wasn’t a new virus at play?

He couldn’t know, he answered the voice, but there was only one option, just like for infected Mavericks who otherwise would never dream of harming another.

“If I go Maverick… You have to take care of me, Zero,” X had said, a century ago. “Promise me.”

Zero had avoided the issue for as long as he could. At first, he had been convinced X was incapable of going Maverick- perhaps the only time Zero had been idealistic, and X the grounded realist- and had told X to stop being stupid, that he wouldn’t agree to such a foolish suggestion.

But X had brought it up again and again, over days and then weeks, and Zero had been forced to choose which he believed in more- X’s incorruptible conscience, or his judgment. And finally, seeing so many other old friends turn Maverick, Zero had had to concede that if X was so terrified of himself, it was time to lose just some of that all-encompassing faith, and realize that nothing and no one was safe from the Maverick Virus, not even the sun that illuminated his sky.

And really, didn’t it make sense? Not even the sun could be permanent. It would give warmth and light for eons, but one day, it would have nothing left to give, and it too would burn out, just as X had. And just as the sun’s transition into a red giant would cause it to engulf the Earth, so had X’s burning out engulfed the world.

In that moment, Zero came to appreciate just how different X had always been from him. For Zero, as much as he questioned himself after the Repliforce incident, never had questioned a battle beforehand; such thoughts, such _worrying,_ was X’s province, never his. Finding himself as the one to do it, for the first and last time, was so exhausting that Zero felt a painful sympathy for the X of the past. Worrying was exhausting, and so was sorrow, and so was arguing with himself; all the weights that X had carried for so long on his shoulders, so rarely complaining, and never asking anything in return but the one thing Zero had never been able to provide him. The thing X valued so highly that in Zero’s absence, he had seen fit to take it by force, and the thing so far out of his reach that X would, in his desperation, turn to a false prophet just for an empty promise of it.

A world without war.

Surely X knew that what he was doing now was far worse than war, but Zero also knew, after a century, X’s battle-weary heart could deny and justify to no end, as long as _he_ finally knew the end of the fighting, the suffering, the death and destruction. And to some extent, he probably did believe the Reploids he was oppressing were a danger. He had probably made himself paranoid, convinced he was seeing Mavericks everywhere, as though their handling of the Repliforce had been a guide and not a catastrophe.

Zero knew that he couldn’t afford to waste energy continuing to fight with himself, when he knew what lay ahead, but he couldn’t seem to stop, either.

And so, trekking through the desert with no one for company but those dark thoughts, his despair grew, and his thoughts became increasingly tortured.

_What happened, X?_ he asked silently, an agonized cry that would never be answered. _We were supposed to fight for justice… for peace… we were supposed to be everything Sigma wasn’t. Why, X? Why, after all this time, when you finally had what we fought for?_

Biting his lip, Zero let out a tiny sound of pain, immediately lost to the desert air.

Every step, every pang of grief drained him, and he was thoroughly exhausted by the time he reached Neo Arcadia’s city limits. Even worse was the knowledge that the journey would only get harder from here, as now he’d have to avoid suspicious citizens and X’s military forces.

But somehow, as he had managed all the other near-insurmountable tasks that had been set before him since waking up, he accomplished this one, the way a lone raindrop falls from the sky to the ground amidst a thunderstorm.

He didn’t know what to expect inside X’s headquarters. Infiltrating it was not as hard as it should have been, and yet, just difficult enough that he didn’t think the security forces had been scaled back. It might have been his own skill, or, perhaps, Neo Arcadia hadn’t anticipated needing heightened security where X was, intending the old legend himself to be their last line of defense.

As he entered a featureless room that reminded him all too much of his days fighting Sigma, unease rose inside him, and he closed his eyes at the realization that finally, at last, his destiny was upon him.

“Hello, Zero.”

Zero turned, and suppressed a shiver when he saw what X had turned into. Warrior for justice turned genocidal tyrant, friend turned foe, angel turned demon. Even his eyes had changed from an innocent green to a vengeful, demonic red; terrifying to behold.

“X,” Zero said with a nod. He looked around, but contrary to their names, the Four Guardians weren’t at X’s side. Zero wondered if they were still undergoing repairs; and yet, even if they were, shouldn’t they have refused to be held back by anything but a debilitating injury? Surely by now the worst of their wounds had been repaired.

Perhaps X, too, realized that this was their destiny, and refused to allow interference.

“It truly is nice to see you again,” X said with such sincerity that Zero _almost_ felt guilty. “But I have a feeling you haven’t come to reunite with me, have you?” He chuckled as Zero shook his head affirmatively. “No… you’ve come because you’ve gone Maverick.”

That, Zero protested, shaking his head more vehemently this time. “No, X, I’m not a Maverick. I have no desire to harm humans- I just don’t want innocent Reploids killed.”

“But that’s the problem, Zero,” X said coolly. “Reploids present an inherent danger to humans. Supporting their continued existence at this point is, in and of itself, an act of Maverickism.”

Hearing it in such cold terms from X was nothing short of horrifying. For the briefest of seconds, his eyes darted to the door, wishing he could flee, but knowing he couldn’t run from any battle- let alone this one, with so many lives at stake.

“X,” he said, voice wavering. “That isn’t true and you know it. Reploids are just people, like you and me. Not all of them are violent any more than all humans are violent. And besides that- your Guardians, hell, you and I are Reploids! What makes us better than them?”

“Ah, but we aren’t Reploids at all, Zero. You and I are completely unique designs. Indeed, mine is the template all Reploids are made from. It was a gift I gave Doctor Cain to give Reploidkind… and as they have proven themselves unworthy, I’m just taking it back.” Pure hatred clouded X’s face. “If Reploids insist on slaughtering humans like lambs, the least I can do is be the hunter to ward off wolves. My Guardians will assist me, but when their time runs out as well… they know they might have to forfeit their lives in fighting Mavericks, and they will understand when I tell them. Zero, I don’t want to fight you when you’ve returned to me at last, but if you won’t stand aside, I’ll have to do it. And I _will_ win this time.”

“But what happens after that?” Zero asked, gazing up at this… person who he could hardly believe was his old friend. This person who fought so hard and so long with him, who cried with a little girl whose dog was killed in a Maverick uprising. How could this be the same person? “What happens after you kill the last Reploid? You just live with the humans?”

“After that, I’ll do what needs to be done,” X answered vaguely, sending another wave of unease through Zero. “But there’s work that needs to be done first. I’ll eliminate every Maverick that crosses my path… you included!”

“ _You’re_ the Maverick!” Zero snapped, reaching a hand back to grab his Z-saber. “You _know_ you’re doing wrong, but you’re lying to yourself to make your revenge feel justified!” He snarled in anger, unsheathing his sword. “How many of our friends have you killed over the past century, X? Signas, Douglas, Alia?!”

“None of them were slain by my hand… not that you believe me,” X said, and for just a moment, softness returned to X’s eyes. “Please, Zero. See reason. I’m not doing this out of malice. I’m doing this for everyone’s good, human and Reploid. I really don’t want to retire you like this… you can help me bring peace, just like we were supposed to. We can make a world without suffering…” Even as he said the words, dropping to a hushed whisper at the end, it was obvious that Zero wouldn’t be persuaded. Zero saw X resign himself, hand transforming into his trusty X-buster. “So be it, Zero. I’ll show you the true way to bring peace. I won’t lose this time… I’ve never stopped fighting for the past 100 years. I’m stronger now than you could ever hope to be.” His face was filled with resolve and regret. “Farewell again, Zero… forever this time.”

“So be it,” Zero echoed, activating his sword. “I’ll put a stop to you, X. You made me promise once to take care of you if this should ever happen… I never wanted to accept such a burden, but I will now. I won’t let you continue acting like a Maverick.”

And yet, Zero thought, wasn’t that the problem? Even now, even when X had fallen so far, even then, X _wasn’t_ a Maverick by the most technical definition. He was a perfect inversion. Even when he had been transformed into a merciless killer, X still fought for humans; he didn’t have it in him to harm one. X’s newfound bloodlust was directed only at Reploids, and only out of grief.

Grief for humans, and as Zero stared into X’s eyes, he began to suspect that somehow, grief at losing Zero himself had been behind X’s transformation as well. Indignant anger burst through Zero at the realization. How dare he? How dare he use Zero’s memory to do such a thing?

But… the anger was muted, dulled, by the other emotions he couldn’t help but feel.

Somehow, Zero thought it would be easier to handle if X had simply gone Maverick outright. It wasn’t that he felt _sympathetic_ to X in his current state- the rage at so many slaughtered innocents prevented that- but… it was so hard for Zero to hate him for it. In fact, Zero was frighteningly close to _pitying-_ not sympathizing, pitying- X, for the more he thought about X’s current state, the more upset he felt.

How badly must X’s sanity have unraveled in the past century? How much must the war have _broken_ X to take away his gentle, loving spirit and replace it with a soulless monster? For X to lose the compassion that had always burned warm and soft inside him…

It must have been hell. Hell the likes of which not even Zero himself could grasp.

Never before had Zero hesitated to destroy a threat, and so it stayed now now, thanks to the days he’d had to prepare himself. His saber was trained on X as he waited for X to make the first move. He wouldn’t hesitate to eliminate any threat, not even his best friend… but he knew he didn’t _want_ to kill X, wished with his entire being that X weren’t so incorrigible. They should have been reconciling, X telling Zero stories, embracing each other with all the joy and tenderness in the world. He could almost, if he closed his eyes, imagine X’s eyes, bright and soft and _green_ , shouting Zero’s name in utter delight.

But instead, they were here, and Zero was forced to open his eyes to see a demonic distortion of his best friend, eyes as red as Zero’s body had once been, and as evil as Sigma had been before him. A true fallen angel if there ever was one.

“Last chance, Zero,” X warned, arm starting to glow from the charged plasma.

Oh, was Zero ever afraid. But just as he had as a Maverick Hunter, just as he had after Phantom’s bombing, he compartmentalized it. He relegated the fear to the back of his mind, trapped it there along with his fond memories of X- all the fond emotions of the Reploid who, in another life, might have remembered that the void he was gazing into was gazing back, remembered to be careful not to become a monster whilst fighting them.

“X, I… I’m not going to change my position on genocide being _wrong_ ,” Zero said quietly, almost laughing at the sheer absurdity of the statement. He stepped towards X. “I know you’re hurting… I know you are… but this isn’t-“

Zero stopped himself. The contortion of X’s face was more than enough warning that he had crossed some sort of line. Letting out a tiny gasp as a rapid-fire barrage of plasma came at him, Zero rolled to the side, hoping to delay X long enough to regain his bearings.

“Hurting? HURTING?!” X screamed as he re-aimed his buster, anger- and plasma- bursting from his body like a volcanic eruption. “Hurting? Let me tell you about _hurting!_ ” A half-charged ball of plasma shot out from his buster.

_Oh shit_ , Zero thought, and only barely managed to deflect the projectile with his saber in time. “X, I-“

“SHUT UP!” X roared, switching to charged shots now. This had the advantage of giving Zero more time to dodge, but he also knew they would damage him far more should he slip up.

“You. YOU! You come back after a hundred years and dare to- to pretend to know what I’ve gone through?! YOU HAVE NO IDEA, you- you!” X’s arm trembled, causing his next attack to miss badly. So badly that Zero would have taken the time to scold X, if he were still anything resembling X’s mentor, but that relationship had died, along with Zero’s hope, the instant he learned of this new X.

“You have no idea what I’ve been through!” X’s eyes were wild now, frenzied blasts peppering the walls behind Zero. “YOU LEFT ME! You left me all alone, after promising we’d be together forever! You left me to fight this war alone!” He let out an agonized roar that pierced Zero’s soul. “ONE HUNDRED YEARS, Zero!” Another buster shot, barely deflected by Zero in time. “You should be HAPPY! I did this… all of this… for YOU! I fought for YOU and YOUR memory! And this is the thanks I get?!”

“X,” Zero said, helpless, but X either didn’t hear, or simply ignored him. Even as Zero dashed in with his saber extended, X dodged reflexively, no thought put into the motions. He didn’t even attempt a counter-strike with his buster. What was left of X’s mind was clearly elsewhere.

“One hundred years I fought alone! It was ME who had to hear the screams of injured humans and Reploids, ME who was brought to the brink of death again and again, praying each time I could die so I could finally have some peace and see you again, but I was never allowed to, I always had to come and fight! Fight, and fight some more! I watched human children burn in front of me, I watched what innocent Reploids were left suffer and die from the Sigma Virus… I tried everything to end the war, Zero… But the Reploids wouldn’t have it. They don’t want peace. So I’ll give them DEATH instead!”

Zero felt something in that moment, like a vibration along a fault line. It was a small stirring at first, but it betrayed a much bigger crack, and within seconds the tiny rumblings grew into a proper earthquake, rupturing the fault, rupturing the very Earth.

And the fault line was X’s psyche.

“HADOKEN!” X screamed suddenly, and Zero could hardly believe his eyes as the ball of blue light formed in front of X’s outstretched arms.

“Oh shi-” Zero barely had time to say, barely managed to escape certain death by a hair’s width as he threw himself to the ground, arms shielding his head.

Furious now, Zero’s eyes brightened, dashing closer to his target. “X, you goddamn lunatic! What is WRONG with you?!”

“Nothing’s wrong with me!” X replied, letting out a noise alarmingly close to a giggle. “You should be asking what was wrong with me before, when I thought it was possible for humans to coexist with Reploids! STORM TORNADO!”

“Son of a-” This time Zero couldn’t dodge in time, and he hissed in pain as the bitterly cold air ripped a hole in his shoulder armor. He pressed his saber hand to it, grimacing. “X! God damn it, X-”

“Is this really what you want, Zero?” X asked quietly, propping his buster up but not charging it for the moment. “You’ve finally come back to me. A miracle… perhaps fate is trying to tell us that we’re supposed to fight together one last time… then we can be together forever…”

“I’m not helping you commit mass murder!” Zero snapped, lunging. He managed to slash X’s stomach, earning a pitiful cry of pain. Zero suspected, in his heart of hearts, that the pain X felt had far less to do with the saber, and far more to do with Zero’s refusal. Snarling as X spoke again, Zero moved in once more.

“Sigma was right about one thing… we were never anything but murderers. We already did it before, didn’t we? When we thought we were being _righteous._ Why not again?” X asked, blocking Zero’s attack with his arm canon and sending Zero flying back with a remarkably strong kick. “Look at us! Even right now, we’re willing to kill each other, despite being the best of friends! If we can kill our best friend, then… we can kill anyone! STORM TORNADO!”

“X,” Zero said, voice low and full of sadness as his own words sank in. “You’ve gone completely insane. I can’t reason with you; I won’t reason with you. I’m sorry it came to this, X. I’m not fighting you because… because I’m cold-blooded. I’m doing this as a final kindness to my best friend.”

“It feels better to lie to yourself, doesn’t it?” X’s voice was filled with sadness as he nodded emphatically. “I did that for a while… got me through the darkest nights, but sometimes you can’t keep the delusion going… then you hate yourself all the more… You keep telling yourself there’s a reason you’re fighting, that you’re a force of good, but you know deep down the only reason for it is that you’re a demon. And the sooner you embrace that, the sooner the pain stops. You stop feeling anything after a while, even, and it’s… so freeing… Nothing matters anymore…” His eyes dulled as his voice faded away.

Zero winced. Laid before him so plainly, X’s pain felt to Zero like a distant ache. Like the ghost of a long-healed injury, climbing through his memories to remind Zero of what he had endured, X’s words cut at Zero’s soul.

“I’m sorry, X,” Zero whispered, and meant it. “I’m so sorry… If I could take it all away, I would.”

“Would you?” X asked, sharpness returning to his eyes. “Or would you just make it worse, like always?” Zero saw X’s fury return, saw him rapidly descending back into the pit of whatever insanity had claimed him. “You ruined _everything_ , Zero! Why couldn’t you have stayed dead the first time instead of doing all this? RARRGH!” Falling to his knees, X’s arms wrapped around his chest, and Zero couldn’t tell if X’s pain was internal or external.

Did it really matter, in the end?

Zero bit his lip. His instincts, his honed warrior’s instincts, were fighting against his heart. One half screamed to deal a killing blow, while the other screamed at him for even considering inflicting such a dishonorable end on X.

In the span of just a second, Zero could end X’s reign of terror, and X’s pain, whatever the cause of this acute attack was. X might not even see it coming. It would be perfectly merciful.

So why couldn’t he _move_?

“Nnngh…” X gritted out, hands grasping his head. “Zero, Zero- why- why do you keep- why do I have to watch you die again? Please don’t make me, Zero, not again… Did… did you really rise from the dead just to make me kill you again? Is that how much you hate me?” He pulled his hands away, and if it weren’t for the redness of his eyes, Zero might have thought he was seeing the younger X again, back before the day Sigma turned Maverick, if only because of how lost and vulnerable and _scared_ X looked.

Something was very, very wrong. How, if X had deteriorated this badly, had the Guardians not stepped in already? Of course they wouldn’t kill their raison d’être, but surely they would have stripped him of his authority somehow.

Either the Guardians were even more evil than the fallen angel they served, or X had kept the truth hidden.

“I… I don’t know why… I thought… but…” X blinked slowly and raised his head, and something about the motion made Zero realize X’s balance and vision were both rapidly declining. Something was _wrong_ with X, something that couldn’t be explained by the relatively minor damage he’d taken during this fight. “You… I fought for you, Zero… was it really not enough? What did I do to make you hate me so?”

Zero couldn’t move. Couldn’t speak. His entire body felt paralyzed by… something. It wasn’t just fear, and yet he couldn’t identify what the other thing was.

“It hurts, Zero, it all- it all hurts,” X groaned, clenching his eyes shut. “I- but that’s you, isn’t it, you’re doing this! You! The only way it’ll stop is to send you back- and then all the other Reploids! I- I hate you! I can’t believe you would do this to me! But so be it!” He let out a wail of pain and anger before shouting, “NOVA STRIKE!”

_Move, damn it, fucking move,_ Zero implored his body, and finally it listened- but a second too late. He saw the almost beautiful flash of light, the superheated air pushed back by X’s leading edges as he broke the sound barrier and crashed into Zero.

Zero fell, then, onto his back, gazing up at the ceiling. Then he looked at X, who fell back to the ground and leaned over him.

“I don’t hate you,” was all Zero’s stunned body could manage. “At least- at least not like you say.” Because when he thought about it, shouldn’t he hate X with a passion for all he had done? That was what he had felt before entering this room, before his already flimsy understanding of this world had been turned upside-down.

But the more he thought about it, the more he was forced to wonder just how much of this genocide X had done while of a sound mind. When had what lines been crossed?

But what should it matter? The being before him, while possessing the same body, surely couldn’t be called X anymore. And if it wasn’t X, why should he be given the privilege of Zero’s affection any longer?

As if in answer, an unwanted image appeared from the depths of his memory bank. Himself, newly rebuilt, in a strange body he didn’t understand, fueled by anger and Sigma’s voice in his ear. X fighting him, but only hard enough to make Zero return to himself, never to actually destroy. And then, after it was all over, that look of elation on the other’s face when Zero’s ‘spell’ was finally broken and Zero became himself again…

X had never hated him for what he’d become that day. He hadn’t even hated Zero for grievously injuring Sigma and, they would later learn, causing his infection.

_But that doesn’t matter!_ Zero’s mind screamed. _He’s killed all but a few hundred Reploids! What does motivation matter? What does the past matter? He’s turned evil, and your job is to eliminate evil, always!_

Zero closed his eyes, listening to X panting above him.

_I’ll kill the evil that has taken X over. If that means taking X down with it… perhaps his soul will understand once it’s freed. Maybe it’ll even thank me._

Nodding to himself, Zero grunted and pushed himself up to his knees. “Impressive, X… you’ve grown stronger than I thought possible.”

“The benefits of living in a body made to never stop evolving.” X’s voice was filled with bitterness. “A body designed for war, as surely as yours was. That’s all Reploids are, Zero! They’re all Death wearing metallic armor, riding on propulsion systems instead of pale horses!”

Unable to properly formulate a response, Zero just looked at X for a long moment, not wanting to strike, but knowing if he didn’t, X would. He dashed forward, cutting X’s non-weaponized arm. “Death, huh? Does that make Sigma Pestilence?”

X nodded once, landing in a half-charged shot as Zero got close. “And I’m War, of course. Famine… well, take a look outside and you’ll see.”

Zero bit his lip. Every little glimpse into X’s broken mind hurt, and made his job harder. If only there were someone else… but X himself had seen to that already, eliminating any others strong enough to battle him.

“’s some world we live in, huh Zero?” X asked, charging his buster and hitting Zero square in the chest. “They let you believe in things… but none of it’s real. Peace, love, kindness..” He sighed, and as he started heating up the plasma in his buster again, Zero saw the strange way X looked both younger and older than Zero remembered. Older, from the weight of the world pushing down his shoulders; younger, from the lostness, the vulnerability that X had once seemed to grow out of.

“Really, if you think about it,” X mused, “I’m doing all those Reploids a favor, ending their pain. They should be thanking me… But then again, so should you… just another thankless job I’ve taken on…” He sighed again, longer and louder. “But if not me, who will do it?”

Every time Zero thought he’d steeled himself, X had to go and say something that made the doubt return. How could Zero hate X, how could he force himself to kill him, when he had failed X so badly as to let him end up like _this_? The damage X had caused was surely just as much Zero’s fault. Zero had made promises to X, both as his _senpai_ and his friend, promises he had neglected in his own selfishness all those years ago.

_But what can I do?_ he asked himself.

X leapt into the air, performing another Nova Strike that Zero easily evaded. The more upset X was, he realized, the more sloppy his attacks became.

_There’s nothing I can do,_ he told himself, full of sorrow. _This is how it has to be._

“H-Hey Z-Zero!” X called, landing ungracefully on the ground and stumbling badly. Stumbling. Zero couldn’t remember X _ever_ stumbling before. “Y-You know what’s funny? I, I just th-thought of something, s-see. V-Vile kept coming back from the dead cause he hated me. And Sigma too. And now you! Hating me, it practically makes you immortal!” X let out an almost hysterical giggle. “But you know what that means? That must mean I’m never gonna die either! You can beat me here and I won’t die at all!”

Zero frowned. The thought process… well, it _almost_ made sense. It wasn’t as obviously deranged as some of the other things X had said, but that was hardly an accomplishment.

“X… just… just shut up,” Zero said, fatigued. “Please, just stop.” Somehow, the reality of facing X was even worse than he’d anticipated. He’d expected to find another Sigma, not something so broken that fighting him felt like shooting Old Yeller.

“Why? Does talking make it harder for you to kill me?” X asked with feigned innocence. “Makes you remember you’re here to kill your best friend? Maybe it reminds you of when you killed Iris? HADOKEN!”

Zero cried out, hit at the same time by the blue fireball and X’s cruel words. Energy meter rapidly dropping, he only barely managed to stand, panting, world swaying around him.

Something inside Zero broke the moment he processed the words fully, the last bit of hesitancy he had gone. “Too far, X,” he ground out. Clearly whatever insanity had taken over X had finally destroyed his feelings for Zero, and his self-preservation to boot. “Too. Damn. Far. You’ve just sealed your own fate.” And with that, Zero pushed away all the emotions that had fettered him. No more mercy, his mind screamed, former best friend or no. Mercy would get Zero- and all other Reploids- killed, for X clearly had no mercy of his own left. And besides, it wasn’t like Zero had never destroyed Mavericks with obvious mental deficiencies before, either. X would just be another to add to the list.

“This ends now,” X said, preparing his body for another Nova Strike. “Farewell, Zero!”

“This ends now,” Zero echoed, readying his body for his own attack; one he had only relearned in the two days after the Resistance Base had been destroyed. “Farewell, X… GENMUREI!”

As Zero anticipated, X initially glided past the green waves Zero’s blade emitted. But as the beams hit the wall, so did X, and with nowhere else to go, his Giga Attack had to end, and with it, his state of invincibility.

X fell to the ground, silent and completely limp. Zero’s ears rang.

Was it over, just like that?

Zero took a step forward, and as he did, X jolted as though shocked by a live wire, back arching before he launched himself to his feet.

“That- that _hurt_ , Zero!” X cried. “I’ll get you for that, Zero! Some friend, some friend you were- did- God, you just keep doing this- did you ever care? Every time I turn around-”

“Enough babbling. You’re starting to sound like that old man, and it is _pissing me off,_ ” Zero growled. In truth, anger was a completely inadequate word to describe his emotions, but an angry Zero had always been the scariest, and he hoped that would be enough to silence X. He looked from the bar on his wrist that mapped his energy levels to X’s battered form, humming to himself with faked cheer. “Looks like the next attack’ll decide this, huh?”

That was only a half-truth; the next attack would end the battle only if X was the one hit. Secretly, Zero had a subtank concealed in his internal storage system. But X didn’t need to know he was at a disadvantage. That would make him desperate, and a desperate opponent was even more dangerous. Zero would keep it a secret, saving the tank until it was necessary.

“Looks like it. You… thought you were my friend… but you were Judas all along…” X looked at him with an expression that was simultaneously wounded, hateful, and fearful.

“Talk about delusions of grandeur,” Zero said slowly, drawing out the words. “You really have lost it, X.”

The words were cruel, but the cruelty served a purpose beyond merely twisting the knife, which Zero did not because he _wanted_ to, but out of necessity. Any other time, Zero would have cursed himself to hell and back for using such an unethical strategy as this, but against such a powerful opponent, who himself was not constrained by morals anymore, Zero could no longer afford the luxury of honor.

Already, he was becoming more like the Guardians than he wanted to be.

Getting under X’s skin was little more than a battle strategy, just as viable as any strike with his saber, and he shot his words like a flash from X’s buster. “Were you always this much of a lunatic, X? Or was I just blinded by my feelings for you?”

“Shut up! SHUT UP!” X cried, firing off three rapid-fire shots that missed Zero by _meters;_ Zero didn’t even have to dodge. “You dare to call _me_ insane? I’m not the one foolish enough to think war machines can live side-by-side with defenseless humans! The Four Horsemen living peacefully when their very existence spells Armageddon- does that sound rational to _you_?”

“No, but that’s because there’s no way to make your demented babbling make sense,” Zero replied, sneering.

Oh, how he’d hate himself for this later. In an ideal world, he’d be getting X _help_ right now, instead of taunting him. But this wasn’t an ideal world, and a Maverick- or mirror image Maverick- this far gone couldn’t be helped.

“RARRGH!” X cried, face contorted in rage. “You- you always- it’s always you!” He aimed his buster at Zero, and fired.

And Zero dodged.

“JUST GO BACK!” X screamed, shooting his buster as fast as he could in the hopes that one little ball would hit. Zero walked towards X, blade spinning in front of him to deflect every projectile. “I KNOW already, I know you hate me! I don’t need you here reminding me!”

Zero inhaled slowly, forcing down the emotions that tried to weigh him down. “This isn’t about hate, X,” he managed to say. “It never was. I’m sorry, but this… this is the only way.”

In X’s near-delirium, he had failed to notice Zero backing him into a corner until it was far too late. With no way to parry, X could only watch helplessly as Zero raised his blade. That fast, the tide had turned.

“I’m sorry, X,” he said again, allowing a fraction of his emotions back into his consciousness, because if this was to be the coup de grâce, he couldn’t do it as cruelly as he’d just fought, the cruelty he knew he’d hate himself for until the day he died. “It never should have come to this. But wherever you end up… I hope you’ll forgive me, and perhaps yourself.”

“NOOOO! ZEROOO!” X screamed in utter terror, raising his arms defensively to cover his face. It was the exact wrong move, and Zero plunged his saber into X’s exposed chest.

The effect was immediate. X’s arms fell to his side. His breath stopped, though he didn’t die, not yet.

“Z… Zero?” X whispered, eyes filling with tears. “Is… is this the end, then?”

Zero could only nod, the weight of his grief already making talking difficult. “I’m sorry, X,” he whispered, and set a hand on X’s cheek. X didn’t flinch, not even as Zero removed his saber from the wound- it had to hurt, he knew it had to be agony, but X did nothing- and set his arms around X, gently pulling him to lie on the ground. Red hydraulic fluid was already soaking X’s front.

“Z… Z…” X whispered, staring up at Zero. “Are… Are you mocking me?”

“No.” Zero shook his head. “I… look. What you did… I can’t forgive you. Never. But you were my friend. You were a warrior. I won’t let you die alone or…” He bit his lip, preventing himself from saying anything more. Already regret was starting to eat at him like an acid, and already the question, _could there have been another way?_ was starting to torment him. A question he would never stop asking himself, even though he knew the answer.

“So… it’s just pity… for pity’s sake…” X said, and nodded, making peace with his fate. “I’m… gonna die then…” He looked at the ceiling. “I-it’s really over? Just like that?” Suddenly, X was smiling. “It’s over… Oh, Zero… I… I feel so-! So much better…! I feel… happy. So happy… I-I’m free… Thank you, Zero…” His voice, broken as it was, already sounded lighter, more like the X Zero had known, and Zero found that in and of itself to be profoundly disturbing. “I, I don’t have to… fight anymore… or be alone… I… I’m finally free…”

“Yeah, X,” Zero managed to say. Because what else _could_ he say at a time like this? “You’re free. No more war, no nothing.” He looked at the dying Reploid, horror and pity growing by the second. “I’m sorry… I didn’t want it to be like this. When I regained consciousness all I could think about, X, was you.” It wasn’t a lie, technically. “But…” He trailed off.

“I… missed you… so much… it… was like… like… my heart… was gone… just a hole…” X rasped. His vocal synthesizer was broken, an awful screeching, wheezy sound escaping it every time X breathed. “I… wanted to… end it… so many times… but I thought… about you… what you… did so I… could live… it… felt… like… a waste… I fought… was brave… for you… all… for you…”

Zero looked away, unable to meet X’s eyes. “Not all for me, X,” he corrected with as much gentleness as he could. “You know this is nothing I ever would have wanted.”

“They… created… the circ-circum-” X let out a gasp, choking on something, struggling to cough whatever it was out. “-stances… that… let you… die… took you…from me…”

“They had to pay,” Zero said flatly, torn between fury and, finally, a tiny ember of sympathy instead of pity. He felt for X, truly, and all the more if X’s insanity really had started before his genocide of Reploids, but… X had killed, again and again. How could he…?

But as before, his outrage warred with the fondness he still had for the X he remembered. Even now, he couldn’t separate the two Xs he had known. The X who had laughed with him, cried with him, who had once held Zero in his arms the way Zero was doing to him now. The X who had never wanted to fight, but had done so for the sake of the world, and had given everything- including his sanity- for them. Even in his insane rampage, as he killed millions of innocents, he had done it in the twisted belief that he was keeping someone else safe.

Zero couldn’t even bring himself to keep feeling the hatred he, by all rights, should be. He just felt _sad_. Sad for X, sad for those he had killed, sad for the world he’d returned to.

“Every… time…” X said, voice getting ever weaker, “Every time… I heard you… promising me things… I… saw you… sometimes… I asked you… why I… had to… keep… fighting…”

“What did I tell you?” Zero asked, choosing not to argue the possibility of him appearing to X when he’d been _dead_.

“That… You wanted… me… to avenge… you… and… we’d… be… together… one… day… together… forever… like… we… both… wanted… because… you… loved me… like… I… did…”

Zero startled, staring down at X.

Zero had always known.

It had been X first, he knew. X had been in love with Zero before Zero even discovered he _had_ the capacity to love. And Zero, as long as it took him, eventually found his heart, his very soul, joining with X’s. Not that they had ever said such a thing aloud… but they knew, and had never wanted nor needed to say it. Best friends, lovers, soulmates, mentor and mentee… X and Zero. All the words meant the same thing.

“X…” Zero felt it deep inside, the emotions shifting inside, the warm struggling against the cold like the air that could create a turbulent thunderstorm.

He hated what X had done. What X had become. But without knowing how much of it was truly X’s fault, how could he blame X entirely? How could he know X hadn’t gone insane years ago and had only been pretending to be functional because Neo Arcadia depended on it? How could Zero be sure that _any_ of this was done of X’s own free will?

Perhaps their last battle together, when X had been so damaged, had harmed X’s inner structures. If the defect had gone undetected by Doctor Light, X wouldn’t have stood a chance. And judging by X’s lack of armor… Doctor Light hadn’t visited X in some time. Perhaps he had become repulsed by X’s homicidal, then genocidal actions, never realizing the reason for it was a flaw beyond X’s control. Or perhaps he had simply not created any more capsules, sensing that X would finally have a handle on the war without him. Maybe the old man had died a second, final death, one that erased him from cyberspace as well as the physical world.

If he did have some kind of internal damage, it could explain X’s unnerving red eyes, as well; they very well could be caused by the same neurological defect.

And yet, even as the explanations rushed through Zero’s brain, he had to wonder if he was trying to convince himself of a rosier version of the truth. That he just didn’t want to see what was plain in front of him, that he wanted his memory of X untarnished so badly that he was willing to rewrite history just to absolve him somewhat. Maybe he hadn’t completely lost that tiny bit of optimism that he had only ever had for X himself.

Zero didn’t know the truth. He couldn’t know, never would know.

So which reality should he believe?

Looking at the dying Reploid below him, Zero decided that it didn’t matter, not now. The truth was that the X before him, the only one he could think about at this moment, was both a killer and a hero. A warrior and a monster. A devil and a savior. X was all of those things at once. A true fallen angel.

Still, grief and love for the X he had once known screamed inside him, while the hatred and disgust stepped to the side, willing to be silenced in this moment. And so, those were the emotions Zero expressed, a last mercy to the dying person in front of him. He cradled X in his arms, whispering, “Rest, X… it’s okay to go now… It’s okay.”

“Ze…ro… I… can’t… see… an…y…thing… Are… you… go…ing… to… die… too?” X’s words were barely audible.

“No, X… I have a subtank?” Zero took it out and absorbed half of it to prove his words to X. For just the briefest of moments, he considered offering the rest to X, but he knew. Knew that even if he could save X with it, X would refuse. Death was both X’s atonement and his reward. And so Zero continued to speak, tucking the energy tank back in his internal storage. “I’m safe… you’re the only one that bad off. So, you can relax.” He brushed his thumb over X’s forehead.

“Oh… so… I’m… still… go…ing… to be… a…lone…” X sounded so small and heartbroken.

“Just-“ Zero shook his head. God, this was so _hard_ and he could barely stand it. He couldn’t stand watching X die, and all these things he’d never know- it was too much. “Just for a while. I’ll come back to you again, but no fighting this time.”

In truth, Zero suspected that he and X were bound for different places… but he had to wonder. If X hadn’t been in control of his actions, surely he and Zero would wind up in the same afterlife, whether that be heaven or hell, after all? For Zero too had committed murder while not in control of his actions. But that was exactly the problem.

It almost hurt too much to bear, the thought of X going to hell, and yet Zero couldn’t convince himself of any other outcome if X had even for a moment been in control of himself during his reign of terror.

There was another thing X had given to the endless war: his soul.

Still, Zero wasn’t about to bring that up to the dying Relpoid in front of him. If X was damned, he deserved a moment of peace, at least, before being thrown into the eternal fire.

“Ze…ro… I… think… I… messed… up… I… think… I… I… think… I… did… some…thing… bad… I… did…n’t… mean… to… I… I’m… scared… Zero… Please… don’t… leave… me…” X’s systems finally reached their limit, trying to cope with insufficient energy, and he was close to entering terminal shutdown. Within a few minutes, X would be gone.

“I’m not leaving, X.” Zero looked skyward and closing his eyes painfully. How he wished he could turn back time to the day he’d been resurrected by Ciel, or, really, to any day but this one. The day he knew he would revisit endlessly, in dreams and in wakefulness, until the day he died. “You… you did do bad things… but…” He bit his lip. “I know you. I know you never wanted- never meant to.” He didn’t know any of those things.

“I’m… so… sorr…y… Zero… I… nev…er… want…ed… this… I… brought… so… much… suff…er…ing.. I… please… for…give…”

Zero closed his eyes again, and for a second, just a second, it felt as though their souls linked. Zero felt pain, such horrific pain that he almost cried out, and he also felt fear and regret, but also a stream of love that anchored him. And in that moment, he realized- though how, he didn’t know, how could he realize it with no facts to back it up?- that X really had never been in control. His heart had almost strayed, but never, never, would he have taken an innocent life before whatever horrible, anti-Maverick systems conflict he had had revealed itself.

Perhaps Doctor Light had programmed X to be too human, and the same afflictions they felt had come to haunt X as well. Perhaps X had fallen victim to some sort of catastrophic syndrome never before seen in a Reploid. But whatever it was… it had never been him.

Zero felt his spirit being enveloped by X’s, and he responded in kind, sharing an embrace far deeper than their bodies could have ever hoped for. He felt the weariness of X’s soul, and tried to pour his own warmth into X, trying to bring back the X he had once known, if only for a moment.

Return it did, finally pushing away the evil as a giant shudder ran through X. Zero felt the old X for the briefest of seconds, like beautiful fall leaves too quickly lost to winter. And then X’s soul let go. There was still a wisp of it left in X’s body, but that was getting ready to leave, too.

The grief was like a tempest inside Zero, and the waves of it crashed over him. The knowledge that he would never see X again, and that he had been the one to bring about X’s demise, that he had felt X’s true soul for only that brief second before he had to leave again, all sent an ache through Zero, and all he could do was hold that broken body close to himself. He wanted to scream, to cry, something- but nothing came to him.

Could X still hear him? he wondered, but didn’t care, for even if X couldn’t hear, Zero had to speak freely now, for his own sake if not X’s. Slowly, gently, he set about removing X’s armor, the thing X had always hated so. X looked more like himself without it, Zero thought, looked freer and happier, even if he wasn't conscious to feel such emotions. Once that was done, Zero sat back down, pulling X into his arms.

“Let me tell you a story, X,” Zero whispered after a long moment. His voice was brittle. Finally he was allowing the emotions he had exiled along with Fear return to his consciousness, and it was excruciating. “Once there were two Reploids… I’ll call them ‘Crimson’ and ‘Azure’, because I’m not much of a storyteller. That was always you; you loved to tell stories to calm down the children we rescued…” A weak laugh escaped him. “Crimson was dangerous, and hurt one of Azure’s friends in a frenzy before being taken down. Everyone was terrified of Crimson, and refused to go anywhere near him… Everyone except Azure. Azure offered Crimson his friendship, which made Crimson angry at first, because anyone willing to be Crimson’s friend had to be _stupid_. But Azure persisted. And wouldn’t you know it, X? Crimson and Azure did become friends. Crimson started protecting and mentoring Azure, and they started fighting together… and soon they were as close as a _senpai_ and _kōhai_ could be. They shared everything, each knew the other better than themself, and they gave their heart and soul to each other. Crimson protected Azure, and in return, Azure gave Crimson hope.”

Zero let out a sigh, and began to stroke X’s hair gently. What would Ciel say, he wondered, if she walked in right now? How could Zero explain to her when he himself could barely understand what had transpired over the last hour? “One day, Crimson sacrificed his life for Azure. It was necessary, for Azure to be able to save the world. But not to worry, because Azure was a… a tender, loving person who put everything on the line to get Crimson back once the world was saved. But Azure was never the same, and it only got worse with more time and more battles… his smiles grew rarer and rarer over the years, and so did Crimson’s, until not even they could always make the other laugh. But they still had each other and they kept each other sane. They knew they could face any enemy together, and so they promised to stay together forever, through every battle. And they did. Until…”

Zero swallowed, and took X’s cold hand in his. “Until another battle. Their worst enemy did what should have been impossible, and turned them against each other. They came to their senses, but far too late, and Crimson once again gave up his life.”

Chuckling humorlessly, Zero looked down at X, whose eyes were half-closed now, breathing long ago stopped. “You know this already, of course: it’s our story. But there’s a part of it you don’t know, because it was Crimson’s best-kept secret. You see, X, Crimson didn’t sacrifice himself altruistically.” Zero let out a heavy sigh. “Crimson was, and still is, very, very selfish, and very weak. Not physically, because Crimson was the stronger of the two back then, but emotionally. Crimson was scared, you see. He was scared to face a world without Azure at his side. What would he do without Azure to keep him sane? What would happen if Crimson lost himself and let his heart turn dark? And how could he ever overcome the grief? It was too painful to even think about; he could never live without Azure. So he sacrificed himself for Azure, but mostly for Crimson himself. Never did he stop and think of the pain he was subjecting Azure to, making him fight all on his own, nor did it occur to him that grief might actually drive Azure insane.”

Something strange happened as Zero spoke: his body began to shake, and his voice too shook and cracked. At first he suspected undetected damage from his fight against X, but as he ran a self-diagnostic, he realized it was an emotional reaction he had never experienced before. Crying, his internal dictionary informed him, but such a thing was impossible. How could he cry without tears to shed? X had always been the only Reploid on Earth who could cry. And yet, here Zero was, his body shaking with dry sobs. Zero was _crying_ for X.

“Crimson loved Azure very, very much,” Zero choked out. Because finally, he could admit it; could finally release that one emotion from where he’d hidden it. Love was almost as good at letting itself be ignored as fear was, especially when it was a hinderance, as it had been at the start of this fight.“Loved him like… like the moon loves the sun. The moon can exist without the sun, maybe, but it won’t have any light… just darkness and emptiness and nothing else. The sun doesn’t know how important it is to the moon… just like how Azure never knew just how vital he was to Crimson.” A hand came to rest on X’s face. “Azure was everything to Crimson. But then Crimson hurt Azure, and…” His eyes closed, too tired from the pain of his words. “And now Crimson’s punishment is living without him, the same way Azure did before, but with far more regrets and… and other things.” The shaking intensified as the guilt overwhelmed Zero. There had been no other way, but he had done it so cruelly. What if he had waited until X was asleep and never let him see the end come? Of course, Zero hadn’t known that X was deserving of mercy. But then again, survivor’s guilt never had been a rational force before.

And then, as though the universe loved tormenting Zero, it granted him a miracle he didn’t want, not when there were a million others that would have asked for given the chance.

A drop of fluid rolled down Zero’s face.

It wasn’t rain. It wasn’t X’s hydraulic fluid.

It was a tear.

Somehow, X’s strange ability- if it could be called that- became Zero’s, like an intangible heirloom.

One tear fell, and then another, and then another. It felt to Zero like he was creating his own rainstorm.

It hurt, and yet it felt good. It felt like a salve. It felt like the release of a coiled rope.

He was crying, and every miraculous tear reminded him of what his reunion of X should have been, what the universe had so callously done to both of them.

“Please don’t go, X. Please.” The tears blurred his vision. “I know I have no right to ask you this. Not when- when you’re finally at peace-” His voice cracked. “But I have to. I have to be selfish again. Please?”

The universe didn’t give him a second miracle, and Zero slumped his shoulders in defeat. “X, I… I… I’m sorry… It… It never should have ended this way… You and Iris, you both… Is it me?” The thought suddenly occurred to him, and he shook his head, horrified. “Is it something wrong with me? Did I infect you both with some sort of undetectable virus?” The thought was even harder to bear, and Zero’s sobs intensified, pleas going beyond what was rational, for grief could wipe away logic and reason from any being. “It was my fault! All my fault! X! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Please come back! Let me undo this! Please!”

How selfish was he, that he was asking for X back? He didn’t care. The ache inside blinded him. Even as he realized that X would hate him for it if Zero somehow brought him back, even then, Zero wished for it with all his heart.

“X, please… please…” Zero cried. “Please, X…”

The broken pile of metal stayed hopelessly silent, inert.

X was gone.

Zero was alone.

He had killed his best friend.

The tears came harder and faster. Zero had no choice but to ride them out, waiting until the tide evened again, the flow stopping and taking Zero’s strength with it.

“I’m sorry… I-I should have saved you… but…” Zero bit his lip and shook his head, trying to stop the tears from coming back. His voice was rough, synthesizer exhausted from the strain he’d put it under. “I have to go now… I’m sorry… I can’t- I can’t look anymore… I’m sorry, X… I hope, wherever you are… I hope you’re happy and at peace, at last… you deserve that much.”

Zero bit his lip. Slowly, painfully, like he was ripping off his own arm, he lowered X to the ground. X, an angel fallen, turned… turned into what?

Turned demon-possessed, he decided, for a demon had surely controlled X’s actions, but that demon had never been X himself, not like a proper fallen angel.

X, a demon-possessed angel.

A demon-possessed angel whose body Zero had to let go of, somehow.

After some time- how long? Minutes? Hours?- he finally removed his arms from X, painfully, and stood.

One step, two, three. He arrived back at the door he’d came through, and opened it.

Once the door closed, Zero wouldn’t be able to open it again, not without another key, which he would never get from the Neo Arcadian government. He would have to leave it to the Guardians to retrieve his body and armor- one last act of cowardice and selfishness for Zero to inflict on X.

“You’re free, X… I gave you that, if nothing else,” Zero whispered, biting his lip again. “Whatever was hurting you, it’s gone now…” That had to count for something, didn’t it?

He turned back to look at X, needing to fill his eyes with the sight one last time, so the memory could embed itself. He was terrified of losing X’s face to a memory bank failure, and so he filled as much of it with X as he could. The more of X he had, the more he could be certain he’d never lose this last part of him.

Staring for an indeterminate length of time at the fallen angel, Zero made a decision. A decision he knew he’d hate himself for. But then again, wouldn’t he hate himself for this no matter what the outcome was?

It was all the same, Zero decided, both outcomes as bad as the other. And that meant… that meant he could be selfish yet again, because it wasn’t changing anything, not really.

Zero returned to X’s side, staring into the half-closed eyes of the one he loved, and felt the last tiny wisp of X’s soul starting to break free. Just as it was about to do so, Zero finally acted…

And poured the half-empty container of liquid energy down X’s throat.

 


End file.
